PS I’m Evil

All my pictures of Dale seem to look the same, since generally he can be found napping somewhere. And usually that somewhere is on the couch. I can’t say I blame him, though. I would probably do the same thing if I were him! I realize that last picture isn’t Dale, but it’s one of three ornaments in a black lab set my sister gave me one year, and it seemed to fit in with this Dale theme.

You want a fun story about how Dale is annoying? Ok, I’ll tell you…

Dale apparently thinks I am a huge bitch. Like – the kind of evil bitch that you need to hide under the kitchen table to get away from. If I talk a certain way (and I haven’t really figured out what it is that is triggering this reaction so I can’t figure out how to avoid it) Dale will BOLT into the kitchen and hide under the kitchen table. It may sound cute to you (Jeff sure thinks it’s amusing), but that dog is giving me a huge complex! He has no reason to hide from me! He acts like I beat him when no one is looking, and I absolutely do not!

Saturday night I stayed up later than I should have wrapping some Christmas presents, and Dale spent that time hiding under the kitchen table. Every so often I would look up (I was on the floor in the living room facing the doorway to the kitchen) and see him walking towards me, and he would actually freeze with his paw in mid-air (like as if we were playing red light green light?) and he looked completely panic stricken like I caught him OHMYGOD he was in so much trouble now! And then he’d spin around and dart back under the table. Now if anyone should have been hiding from me it was Chewy. That friggin cat really loves wrapping paper! He’s learning though, I only sprayed him once with the water bottle and he mostly left me alone – though he was still watching with his crazy eyes on. By the third time I looked up and saw Dale freeze like that I really did get mad. Stupid dog acting like I’m such a big wench, I might as well BE a big wench, eh?! Grr.

Sigh. Dale traumatizes me. The best part is that when I really am upset about something? That’s not when he gets scared and runs off. He’s fine then, and is likely to jump on me excitedly. He’s very confusing, and we are getting our wires majorly crossed somewhere.