I go home for lunch. And I usually watch the last 10 or so minutes of the news, and the first 10 or so minutes of Who Wants to be a Millionaire while I’m there. Yesterday one of the questions on Millionaire was something like:

Which natural disaster thingy below was not the subject of a top 40 song?
A) Heat Wave B) Hurricane
C) Tornado D) Landslide

I was thinking D. In my head I could hear “It’s like a HEAT WAVE! Burning in my heart!” and also “Here I am! Dun-nuh, Duh-nuh! Rock you like a HURRICANE!” But I couldn’t place the tornado or landslide songs… and landslide just seemed less likely. Luckily the guy actually playing knew there was a landslide song (but somehow not the other two! He used his 50/50. Sigh.), and it turns out there hasn’t been a top 40 song about a tornado.

So of course I had to write one! One of these days you will hear ME on your radio. And when you do - that guys answer will have been wrong. Because of course my song will be top 40! How could it not be?! This is what I’ve got so far:

I’m a TORNADO, baby!
I’m big and I’m bad and I’m sooo the boss of you!
I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!
I’m a TORNADO!!!! I’ll wreck your ranch!
Oh what’s that in the sky - a cow! I made your cow go flying by!
WEEEEEE-yeahhhhh!!!! TORNADO!

Yeah. That’s a rock song. Lots of screaming. And at first “your ranch” was “you, bit**!” but Jeff pointed out that I couldn’t say that on the radio, and suggested your ranch. I liked it. It worked with the whole flying cow thing.

So it’s official – I’m destined for fame and fortune.